Tuesday, 13 July 2010
So I have finally entered into the working world, well that of unpaid employment, otherwise known as the knowledge building internship, and have come to realise that the stress, worries, anxieties that accompanied me ever so graciously throughout my final year at university, have yet to dissipate. I'm still frantically trying to decide in which direction I want my life go. At some point I wish to go travelling and then attempt the arduous task of achieving an MA. Is this me just procrastinating, and not dealing with the present situation that I find myself in, jobless and penniless? Or is it just being young and wanting some freedom before I loose myself in the professional career ladder. I'm likening to the latter, as it justifies my longing to just have a bit of fun before the seriousness of adulthood overcomes, and washes away the remaining elements of my youth. I just don't think I'm ready to give it all up yet. I still have part-time work after this internship, which hopefully will help my finance my travelling ambitions, and allow me the ability to really think about what I want in life. Well that's the plan at least. I know what I eventually want out life, and I won't give up on everything that I've clearly worked so hard for. However, surely this means I'm entitled to have a break and let loose. People are worried I might loose sight of my dreams, or I'll get too comfortable and not pursue those dreams, but to be honest, I don't think I will. I never took a gap year to go off and explore the world, or go on some self-awakening journey because I wanted to get everything out of the way while I was still motivated after sixth form. The amount of effort I've put in these past three years clearly warrants a kind self-indulgent reward that I have so longed for. I don't know. It all seems too hard and the older you get does not necessarily mean things become any easier; they almost become harder to wrap your head around. Hopefully I'll have figured everything out by the end of the summer, if not...then...well...who knows?!